What do you do when you find a weakness? What do most people do: Hide from it? Get angry? Swell up to compensate? Start crying? All of these are normal human traits. What about embracing it? Hmmm Should our nature be one of finding weaknesses so something can be done about them? This discussion is of course looking at ourselves. We are civilized right? It would be rude to point out weaknesses in others. And yet…
Me? I am learning to embrace the weaknesses. My mindset has become one of always trying to learn. Finding weaknesses means opportunities to learn. With this approach, a strange freedom comes that allows me to do or try new things. Such an approach allows me to make corrections so I may improve.
What is meant by weakness? Physically weak? Mentally? Maybe just no good at it? Maybe a glaring flaw? (what we think as glaring…. everyone can see this. everyone is looking at it/me) Defining the words used helps with the conversation. Meriem Webster states:
weak·ness | \ ˈwēk-nəs \ noun 
Definition of weakness
1 : the quality or state of being weak also : an instance or period of being weak backed down in a moment of weakness
2 : FAULT, DEFECT
3a : a special desire or fondness (has a weakness for sweets)
b : an object of special desire or fondness (pizza is my weakness)
More from Wordnik.com
from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition.
- noun The condition or quality of being weak.
- noun A personal defect or failing.
- noun A special fondness or inclination.
- noun Something of which one is excessively fond or desirous.
from The Century Dictionary.
- noun The state or character of being weak, in any sense; also, a weak point.
from the GNU version of the Collaborative International Dictionary of English.
- noun The quality or state of being weak; want of strength or firmness; lack of vigor; want of resolution or of moral strength; feebleness.
- noun That which is a mark of lack of strength or resolution; a fault; a defect.
Wow. The first few definitions refer to having a defect. No one wants to be thought of as being a defect. This seems normal on the surface. Looking deeper we may find something else at work.
Most people shy away from looking bad or doing activities that won’t make them look good. If I am correct, there may be a victim mentality at hand. This subroutine hides in the background waiting for any opportunity to show itself. Every chance it gets it wants you to feel sorry for yourself. Why start a new habit? We might just improve, leaving nothing for others to feel sorry for us for… (Yes, I went there….) (Discuss subroutines and subprogramming) Why shouldn’t we avoid looking bad? After all, isn’t the weak one in nature usually killed off? Oh, that is scary. Perhaps there is a legitimate concern here.
Discussion with ladies 
reveals a concern with looking bad. The feeling is that they won’t be selected or perhaps left behind if they are less than desirable. There is a certain amount of pressure to always present oneself in a good way. Living under such pressure to be “perfect” can be very difficult. Failure means death or abandonment. (See my blog Why Women have to be right for that discussion ) With such mental pressure no wonder so many avoid weaknesses. However, finding weaknesses in others is a sport usually engaged in by weak people to feel safe or better than the other person. But, aren’t we more civilized now? Haven’t humans evolved beyond animal nature or instinctual behavior? Deep down we know the truth.
There is a freedom that comes when the victim mentality is overridden. You have seen the person who just doesn’t care how crazy they look dancing. (Or the child who finds “their groove”.) Everyone laughs at first. Then we see what a good time they are having. He/she hasn’t stopped with the laughter. They just keep dancing. The laughing AT turns into laughing WITH, and now more are having a good time! Children or child-like behavior has that effect on us. That freedom to just be.
Consider seeking this freedom. Watch a child. See how they embrace learning or trying something new. Just for the fun of the adventure! (Unless they have been tainted) Sure, it is a bit naive. That’s the beauty of it. They don’t care what others think. They have an inner confidence that “this will work out”. Isn’t that what is missing? The idea of things working out for the best? Finding weaknesses allows us to work on them; to make ourselves better.
Finding Weaknesses is not the problem. Worrying about our weaknesses is and locks us in a prison. This mental prison is of our own making. The mind is very powerful. The best part is that we can control this. We can do something about this. We have the key to that prison cell if we just have the courage to use that key. Use that key to unlock the freedom that awaits.
