Why do women have to be right? It’s a matter of life or death. End of blog.
That would be too simple. I have had a thought for some time that was shared with the Dojo. When discussed, there is the approving look which indicates my thought could be correct. Many suggest our behavior, thinking patterns, methods of survival goes back thousands of years. These behaviors have been passed down without thinking. It is something we “just do”. The problem could be that these behaviors have been passed down without explanations with the obvious reasons forgotten over time
Humans pass on the behaviors that have been successful. This only makes sense. Why would one have to explain what has worked? These days are different. We desire to know more and more: why does this work? Why do people think or behave a particular way? How do we change our behaviors? Do we need to change them?
My theory is simple. Try to imagine how people lived before cities were built. Yes, a long time ago. The men tended to go out hunting, while the women would gather vegetables and fruit. Of course this is a generalization. We survived because we cooperated as a group. When young males come of age, they would be taken out for their first hunt. Can you imagine the little guy with his spear, bow and arrows or rocks? They have been taught how to approach a deer, get into range and throw the spear. Everything is theory until the moment of truth.
For guys, if we mess up, there is the thought we will get it right next time. We make note of the mistake, and try again. So our first time hunter throws the spear and misses. Oh well, we will get the next one. Oops. Missed again. Well, let’s get the next one. Now 30 days have passed. Things are getting serious. People need to eat let’s get it right. Finally! Success!! A little pressure to perform. The adrenaline pump. The cheers from everyone from the successful hunt. The celebration with the tribe. Yes, let’s do this again. Eating is a good thing, right?
Now the ladies… The young girl is taken out with mom and the others to gather. From a very young age, she has watched mom. Every little move is observed. Every interaction with everyone from the little baby to dad to the tribe elder. She watches what mom picks. Is it the right color? The right time of year? What is it for: medicine, food, dessert? What are the shapes of the leaves? Is this the right plant? They all look the same to the untrained eye. Does it really matter?
Yes! It does matter. Why do women have to be right? It truly IS a matter of life or death. If the wrong leaf or berry is picked, the effects of the decision are shown immediately. Think about the pressure to perform: the family could get sick or die. If you were gathering for the whole tribe, and you got it wrong, the ENTIRE TRIBE is now sick or dying. And it is YOUR fault. A bit dramatic? Not at all. For example: Deadly Berries and the Edible Foods They Resemble. Sure, people write books on the topic now. Before you had to be taught and remember which was which.
Imagine this is the responsibility passed down for thousands of years. There is no explanation given. It is straight forward: If you get it wrong, someone dies. Very simple. A very heavy burden to bear. However, these days we don’t have to hunt and gather. We go to the grocery store where someone else has provided a bountiful selection for the tribe to chose from. We have advanced with our ability to survive. However, our brains, our method of thinking has not. We haven’t taken the time to explain our behavior to our children so they can instruct the next generation.
Women have “always” taken care of the children. They carry the child within their womb. They have the means to feed the child after birth. It only makes sense they had the primary responsibility of taking care of the little one. Today those lines are blurred. A woman can pump her milk for use later or go to the store and buy milk to feed the child. Dad can get up in the middle of the night now for feeding as he now has the means. Mom can “hunt” for food just as easily as Dad by going down the street to the store. This is all relatively new. (Within the past 50 or so years) Again, I am generalizing. We know there have been plenty of great women hunters. And more and more women engage in hunting today.
The habits that have been ingrained for thousands of years will not suddenly disappear. Those habits were built and passed on as a method of surviving. The desire to survive is strong. Thus the habits are deeply ingrained. This can help to explain why most guys don’t worry so much about making mistakes. “I will get it right next time”. Yes, most of us simply shrug it off. Sure, when it is important, we focus so a mistake is not made. Examples would be performing surgery, flying a plane, moving very big objects. A mistake could cost someone’s life. In these situations we become very serious because lives are immediately affected.
Ladies have always had to live with immediately affecting lives. For them, their responsibilities haven’t changed. Some want the responsibility to change. Others have changed their lives from taking care of the children to someone else doing it. Even so, ladies FEEL the weight of the responsibility. Their burden has not changed. When they perform surgery, fly planes or move big objects, they have never stopped taking life seriously because, for them, lives are ALWAYS immediately affected.
Why do women have to be right? It IS a matter of life and death. End of blog. (For real this time)